Well thankfully since my last post, I am in a decidedly better mood/place. I took a slight break from my writing, a cautionary step back and away, to clear my head. This was relatively easy, since March is an extremely busy month for me!
First I had to plan two birthday parties and attend two. That's right there are five, count them five, members of my family with birthdays in March. Since my husband and eldest son are born on the same day (the 8th), and my nephew born the day after (the 9th), there were negotiations for their birthday parties. We ended up with my nephew's 2nd b-day party on the 5th and Hubby's 38th and my big boy's 5th on the 6th. Then the next weekend was my baby's 3rd b-day party *sob*. Now I just have Manda's 22nd coming up on the 19th. Meanwhile, Mom has threatened to disown us all, if any of us even considers having another baby in March. I guess there is no hanky panky allowed in the month of June for any of us! Which is fine with me, since we are literally broke when this month finally winds down.
Anyway, in my spare time I have totally been stalking Kiersten White's blog. (ie: procrastinating) If any of you haven't read it, do. She is really witty and funny, and sometimes I could tear my hair out with jealousy over how easy writing seems to come to her. But once I conquer those rare moments of insanity, I usually glean a lot of sound advice and encouragement, or most importantly a laugh!
So if you have the time, check out this particular post which really helped me http://kierstenwrites.blogspot.com/2009/08/kierstens-updated-guide-to-getting.html
So that is it for now, back to the grindstone. Wish me luck.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
It's One of Those Kind of Days....
For weeks now I've been staying up late editing and reworking my story. Everything's going great, I'm flying through my pages feeling confident and connected, and then I hit a wall. If you're a fellow writer you might recognize this feeling. It's horrible and defeating, and at the time it feels like it will go on and on, pounding in swelling waves against your already fragile ego. It's known as self-doubt. Something in my daily life that I already struggle against.
Maybe mine is rooted in the fact that I am the oldest of five children. Maybe it's because I didn't get enough attention with three rambunctious brothers and a baby sister. But to me, it's the overwhelming feeling that I come up short when compared to the brilliance and otherwise general coolness of my four siblings. I feel like I'm hovering, trying desperately to grasp a firm hold on my own potential greatness. I'm plagued with wanting to fit in, not being so loud, and not saying the random weird things that sometimes leap from my mouth with no warning.
Now all that said, my family in no way feels this way about me, it's mostly in my head. My siblings love me and accept me, and generally think that I'm great (even if I'm not nearly as cool as all of them, and slightly over affectionate) My parents have always supported me in my love of reading and writing (except that one time when I wrote a short story where the mom was dead, and my Mom thought I was mad at her and that I wished she were dead), and my husband insists I'm the best writer he's ever read (this does not really count, because he does not read!!! Let me clarify...he never reads unless it's a gun magazine. As if that counts!)
But believing in yourself is a harder than one might think. Especially when you read the works of such authors as Stephenie Meyers, Cassandra Clare, Kiersten White, etc. However, my husband is quick to remind me that everyone has their own writing style and voice, and this is what makes each of us unique.
So please disregard my dreary self-pitying blog, because by tomorrow morning I will probably have snapped out of this oppressive slump. But for the moment, it's weighing me down.
Maybe mine is rooted in the fact that I am the oldest of five children. Maybe it's because I didn't get enough attention with three rambunctious brothers and a baby sister. But to me, it's the overwhelming feeling that I come up short when compared to the brilliance and otherwise general coolness of my four siblings. I feel like I'm hovering, trying desperately to grasp a firm hold on my own potential greatness. I'm plagued with wanting to fit in, not being so loud, and not saying the random weird things that sometimes leap from my mouth with no warning.
Now all that said, my family in no way feels this way about me, it's mostly in my head. My siblings love me and accept me, and generally think that I'm great (even if I'm not nearly as cool as all of them, and slightly over affectionate) My parents have always supported me in my love of reading and writing (except that one time when I wrote a short story where the mom was dead, and my Mom thought I was mad at her and that I wished she were dead), and my husband insists I'm the best writer he's ever read (this does not really count, because he does not read!!! Let me clarify...he never reads unless it's a gun magazine. As if that counts!)
But believing in yourself is a harder than one might think. Especially when you read the works of such authors as Stephenie Meyers, Cassandra Clare, Kiersten White, etc. However, my husband is quick to remind me that everyone has their own writing style and voice, and this is what makes each of us unique.
So please disregard my dreary self-pitying blog, because by tomorrow morning I will probably have snapped out of this oppressive slump. But for the moment, it's weighing me down.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Never a good thing...
You know it's never a good thing when you tell your little sister that you've started a blog, and she starts laughing. She asked me if I were trying to win a Blobby award (an Ugly Betty term), and I sarcastically answered that there was no such thing. (At least I don't think so)
Anyway. Last night was a good night of writing. I was able to edit about 67 pages and even added in about 10 pages of fresh new material. (Go me) I was feeling pretty good about this until Hubby came downstairs and glared at me. He asked me if I had any idea what time it was, and as I looked around I noticed *Surprise* the sun is up. Glancing down at my laptop's clock I noticed that it was 6:45am. Holy crap!!! After saving all my work, emailing my Mom and sister the newest revisions, I finally crawled into the bed and slept like the dead. Finally emerging from my warm cocoon of sweet oblivion, I was shocked to see that it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Needless to say, I promised Hubby that I wouldn't stay up so late tonight.
Now I should probably stop procrastinating and start writing. So in the famous words of my boys favorite bedtime story, "With a kiss and a sigh and a sweet lullaby ( preferably sung by Sia) that's how I say goodnight."
PS. If you don't know who Sia is or to which song I refer, click on the link below.
Anyway. Last night was a good night of writing. I was able to edit about 67 pages and even added in about 10 pages of fresh new material. (Go me) I was feeling pretty good about this until Hubby came downstairs and glared at me. He asked me if I had any idea what time it was, and as I looked around I noticed *Surprise* the sun is up. Glancing down at my laptop's clock I noticed that it was 6:45am. Holy crap!!! After saving all my work, emailing my Mom and sister the newest revisions, I finally crawled into the bed and slept like the dead. Finally emerging from my warm cocoon of sweet oblivion, I was shocked to see that it was 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Needless to say, I promised Hubby that I wouldn't stay up so late tonight.
Now I should probably stop procrastinating and start writing. So in the famous words of my boys favorite bedtime story, "With a kiss and a sigh and a sweet lullaby ( preferably sung by Sia) that's how I say goodnight."
PS. If you don't know who Sia is or to which song I refer, click on the link below.
And so the blog begins...
Let me just state for the record, that I never in a million years would have ever thought that I would be writing a blog. However, after watching another exceptional episode of Ugly Betty on Netflix (if you haven't seen this show, you need to watch it immediately) in which Betty creates her own blog, I got this little jab to my self-conscious telling me "Hey maybe you should try it" so here I am.
I am currently ploding through the self-editing of the book I have written (insert: pulling hair, swigging caffeine by the truckload, driving my husband crazy with my self doubt) If that isn't bad enough this is my third edit.
The very first version of my story I started in 2005, when I was pregnant with my first baby. My intention was to write for middle grade , and it was written in third person. I was about 200 pages in when I hit the wall. Not a real wall, but a complete and utter block where I couldn't think of another thing to write. The story was so so, and I really couldn't connect with the characters. (ie: drowning with no chance of survival)
Then my sister Amanda shows up with a little book called Twilight. Now my sister, who for all intensive purposes is an extremely intelligent person, hates to read. *Gasp* I know. To an avid reader, who is never without a book in my hand, this is sacrilege. But wait for it, she is literally gushing about how she just read the entire series in one week, and it is so good.
Now I was a little iffy about this vampire book, especially since I had never read a YA book before (unless you count HP) and because vampires scare me. They always have, and when I was little I used to make sure my covers stretched up and over my ear, because I totally believed that a vampire couldn't bite me if it couldn't see my neck. True story. But since my I-never-read sister was asking me to check it out, I did. I devoured the entire series in 4 days! And can I say that it changed my life? It did, literally. Stephenie Meyers is a genius, and I love, adore, and worship her. She opened the world of YA to me.
I really connected with the first person view, and I loved the thought of an older character that I could connect with. So in homage to my sister, I created a YA story, with her essence at it's very core. I modeled my main character Fiona directly after Amanda. (figuratively and literally) In a way, I was writing this book for the both of us.
So the second version was done within three months, and I was extremely proud of it. I had edited it, reviewed it countless times, and finally with a kiss and a sigh I queried it. And was rejected, by every single agent I contacted. This was someone screaming "you suck" 50+ times, and boy did it hurt. So I stepped away from the book, and shelved it for months.
Now I still believed in my little book, so eventually I reopened it. As I reviewed it with fresh eyes, I began to notice some serious flaws. First, I was working with too many characters. Or should I say main characters. The plot was becoming confusing. So I began the rewrite, again.
Fast forward a couple months, and here I still am, still writing.
So to help keep the sanity of my family (ie: Mom, Manda, Hubby, and of course myself) I decided to record the process of writing, failing, and hopefully in the end succeeding in my goal of becoming a published author.
Thanks for reading, and here's hoping!
I am currently ploding through the self-editing of the book I have written (insert: pulling hair, swigging caffeine by the truckload, driving my husband crazy with my self doubt) If that isn't bad enough this is my third edit.
The very first version of my story I started in 2005, when I was pregnant with my first baby. My intention was to write for middle grade , and it was written in third person. I was about 200 pages in when I hit the wall. Not a real wall, but a complete and utter block where I couldn't think of another thing to write. The story was so so, and I really couldn't connect with the characters. (ie: drowning with no chance of survival)
Then my sister Amanda shows up with a little book called Twilight. Now my sister, who for all intensive purposes is an extremely intelligent person, hates to read. *Gasp* I know. To an avid reader, who is never without a book in my hand, this is sacrilege. But wait for it, she is literally gushing about how she just read the entire series in one week, and it is so good.
Now I was a little iffy about this vampire book, especially since I had never read a YA book before (unless you count HP) and because vampires scare me. They always have, and when I was little I used to make sure my covers stretched up and over my ear, because I totally believed that a vampire couldn't bite me if it couldn't see my neck. True story. But since my I-never-read sister was asking me to check it out, I did. I devoured the entire series in 4 days! And can I say that it changed my life? It did, literally. Stephenie Meyers is a genius, and I love, adore, and worship her. She opened the world of YA to me.
I really connected with the first person view, and I loved the thought of an older character that I could connect with. So in homage to my sister, I created a YA story, with her essence at it's very core. I modeled my main character Fiona directly after Amanda. (figuratively and literally) In a way, I was writing this book for the both of us.
So the second version was done within three months, and I was extremely proud of it. I had edited it, reviewed it countless times, and finally with a kiss and a sigh I queried it. And was rejected, by every single agent I contacted. This was someone screaming "you suck" 50+ times, and boy did it hurt. So I stepped away from the book, and shelved it for months.
Now I still believed in my little book, so eventually I reopened it. As I reviewed it with fresh eyes, I began to notice some serious flaws. First, I was working with too many characters. Or should I say main characters. The plot was becoming confusing. So I began the rewrite, again.
Fast forward a couple months, and here I still am, still writing.
So to help keep the sanity of my family (ie: Mom, Manda, Hubby, and of course myself) I decided to record the process of writing, failing, and hopefully in the end succeeding in my goal of becoming a published author.
Thanks for reading, and here's hoping!
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